Dear God

Dear God, it's me again, Jeanine. I know you are getting really tired of hearing from me but I'm not certain if this is a joke or some really weird lesson you are trying to teach me. Either way can I please have a peek into the future to calm my nerves and let me know everything is going to be ok and I'm not destined to end up alone with like 5 cats and a bunch of flowers? Trust me, I'm not bitter, but I just need some answers because I'm getting a little frustrated and I think I'm developing some wrinkles. But like seriously, what is the deal with these men that keep popping up in my life, I mean eww, all I asked for was a decent, honest, good man and every time I turn around I'm meeting every reject from here to Timbuktu. If he isn't missing a tooth, he has gold teeth, or he's still wearing Coogi and Roca Wear (must be a southern thing) and his idea of dressing up is throwing on the Stacy Adams; umm please tell me there are more to my options than this? Then you have the ones with 3 baby mamas, 5 kids, hustling by day, dreaming by night and calling himself an entrepreneur; Negro, you're almost 30 why in thee hell are you attempting to make rap your career? And Lord, why are these men trying my mentals; no you cannot hold my car, no you cannot have access to my money and no you cannot move out of your mama's house and into mine, what do I look like taking care of a grown man, and why are you still living with your mama talking about you helping her out; chile please her name is on the house note and she's paying all the bills. Apparently asking for a good man is so overrated and everyone's view on good is vastly different, how is that possible? And bless their hearts, there are some good ones out there, I've had the pleasure of meeting them, but why Lord are they so young? I refuse to date some 4 years younger than me and be labeled a cradle snatcher and I do not have time to be a babysitter or nurturer, isn't that what their mamas are for? Then you got me good, really you did and I guess I'm supposed to laugh, but I'm not sure it's funny. I just knew you sent me a wonderful guy with potential, everything I could have asked for but I didn't. Then he had to up and leave to go find himself; umm excuse me, what is he looking for: an arm, leg, lung, eye, what? Are you trying to tell me I need to go find myself, because I am really confused and tired of going through this wasteless routine, please give me a sign God that this is only temporary and that I am not destined to deal with crazy men and their situations. And I am not asking for someone who is perfect because between you and me I'm far from perfect and have my own issues to work out and I am not trying to put expectations on him that I refuse to live up to. I mean I'm working on getting myself together, so I can bring something great to the table when the time comes. I really expect to be able to sit on my porch in a few years with a glass of wine and laugh at these  situation with my fiance' or husband. But right now, this is soooo not funny and this is a completely hot mess if you ask me. I guess in the meantime, I'm going to focus on school, work, my own happiness and getting my finances and mentals in order because at this rate, if I keep doing the same thing, I'm going to end up bald, crazy and miserable and I am too sweet and wonderful to be walking around looking like a mess! Ok, I'm good now that I got that off my chest, until next time God, thanks for listening to me, this always helps!