Can I Forgive

I have dealt with the issue of forgiveness for quite some time now, and I told myself that with the new year I would eliminate all reasons of hurt and let bygones be bygones. But somehow, I just can't bring myself to address the reasons or even think about letting go; I think if I do, it will make me realize that not only do I forgive them, but also I have to forgive myself. See, I have a lot of hurt and anger built up towards my father, and when I moved to Augusta, I realized I had some anger built up towards my mother as well. My father is a good man, but didn't know how to express his love without cursing, violence or some other form of emotional damage. For the longest time I hated growing in that home and I blamed all insecurities and failures on my father being who he was/is. All I could see from my young eyes was a man incapable of being the men I saw on tv or in other people's homes and I envied that with a passion. I  kinda think that if I had grown up with better parents my dating life wouldn't have been confused as it was, but oh well, another story for another day. As I grew older, I understood that he wouldn't change, but that I still had the chance and opportunity to do that, but I had to let go and forgive. But how can I forgive someone who doesn't believe that they are wrong and has been able to justify every action in their mind. My father has successfully turned himself into the victim and made me out to be the bad guy and I don't know how to deal with that. On top of that, I blame my mother for staying in that type of environment and forcing us as children to grow up that way; I don't have memories of sleepovers and birthday parties with friends or even having a boyhood crush. I don't remember a home where there was happiness and no violence. I wish I could say that I never heard my parents argue, but their voices in disagreement was the backup singers to my life. I don't understand and I don't think I ever will, how a mother could allow her children to suffer because she was afraid as a woman. Isn't it a mother's role to protect her young from all danger, even at the expense of herself? See I have a lot of hurt, anger, confusion that I need to let go of in order to forgive, but I just don't know how. Sometimes I amaze myself at how well I have turned out given how I grew up; suicide played a constant hymn in the back of mind as the sweetest escape from the hell of my life, but I was too afraid of dying to end my life. Yeah, this forgiveness thing might have to take a backseat for another year, forgiving them means I have to address the situation, and I just don't feel mentally strong enough to do that. I find myself judging and I know I shouldn't but how do you do forgive someone who hurt you and doesn't see what they did was wrong? How can I let do of the hurt when there's no acknowledgement that it ever happened? How can I forgive what no one sees is there? Can I forgive, will I forgive? For my sake, I really hope so because I don't know how much longer I can keep carrying this around...